1
00:00:03,124 --> 00:00:07,026
<i>♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪</i>

2
00:00:07,094 --> 00:00:09,153
<i>♪ In living color♪</i>

3
00:00:09,230 --> 00:00:11,790
<i>- ♪ In living color♪</i>
<i>- ♪ You know what I'm sayin'♪</i>

4
00:00:11,866 --> 00:00:14,460
<i>♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪</i>

5
00:00:14,535 --> 00:00:16,526
<i>♪ In living color♪</i>

6
00:00:19,240 --> 00:00:21,299
<i>♪ In living color♪</i>

7
00:00:21,375 --> 00:00:23,605
<i>♪ You can walk on the moon</i>
<i>Float like a balloon ♪</i>

8
00:00:23,678 --> 00:00:26,078
<i>♪ It's never too late</i>
<i>and it's never too soon ♪</i>

9
00:00:26,147 --> 00:00:29,173
<i>- ♪ Take it from me It's a'ight to be ♪</i>
<i>- ♪ In living color♪</i>

10
00:00:29,250 --> 00:00:31,775
<i>♪ How would you feel knowing</i>
<i>prejudice was obsolete ♪</i>

11
00:00:31,852 --> 00:00:34,184
<i>♪ And all mankind danced</i>
<i>to the exact beat ♪</i>

12
00:00:34,255 --> 00:00:37,349
<i>- ♪ And at night it was safe</i>
<i>to walk down the street ♪</i>
<i>- ♪ In living color♪</i>

13
00:00:37,425 --> 00:00:41,418
<i>♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪</i>

14
00:00:41,495 --> 00:00:44,123
<i>♪ In living color♪</i>

15
00:00:44,198 --> 00:00:45,631
<i>♪ In living color♪</i>

16
00:00:45,700 --> 00:00:49,192
<i>♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪</i>

17
00:00:49,270 --> 00:00:51,465
<i>♪ In living color♪</i>

18
00:00:51,539 --> 00:00:54,007
<i>♪ In living color♪</i>

19
00:00:54,075 --> 00:00:56,475
<i>♪ Everybody here is equally kind ♪</i>

20
00:00:56,544 --> 00:00:58,774
<i>♪ In living color♪</i>

21
00:00:58,846 --> 00:01:01,974
<i>- ♪ What's mine is yours</i>
<i>and what's yours is mine ♪</i>
<i>- ♪ In living color♪</i>

22
00:01:02,049 --> 00:01:04,449
<i>♪ How would you feel knowing</i>
<i>everybody was your friend ♪</i>

23
00:01:04,518 --> 00:01:06,611
<i>♪ From thin to thick</i>
<i>and through thick and thin ♪</i>

24
00:01:06,687 --> 00:01:09,485
<i>- ♪ And egotistical trips</i>
<i>was put to an end ♪</i>
<i>- ♪ In living color♪</i>

25
00:01:09,557 --> 00:01:13,493
<i>♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪</i>

26
00:01:13,561 --> 00:01:16,496
<i>♪ In living color♪</i>

27
00:01:16,564 --> 00:01:18,327
<i>♪ In living color♪</i>

28
00:01:18,399 --> 00:01:20,424
<i>♪ You can walk on the moon</i>
<i>Float like a balloon ♪</i>

29
00:01:20,501 --> 00:01:22,765
<i>♪ It's never too late</i>
<i>and it's never too soon ♪</i>

30
00:01:22,837 --> 00:01:25,067
<i>♪ Take it from me</i>
<i>It's a'ight to be ♪</i>

31
00:01:25,139 --> 00:01:26,902
<i>♪ In living color♪</i>

32
00:01:26,974 --> 00:01:29,033
<i>♪ How would you feel knowing</i>
<i>prejudice was obsolete ♪</i>

33
00:01:29,110 --> 00:01:31,169
<i>♪ And all mankind danced</i>
<i>to the exact beat ♪</i>

34
00:01:31,245 --> 00:01:34,612
<i>- ♪ And at night it was safe</i>
<i>to walk down the street ♪</i>
<i>- ♪ In living color♪</i>

35
00:01:34,682 --> 00:01:38,516
<i>♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪</i>

36
00:01:38,586 --> 00:01:41,316
<i>♪ In living color♪♪</i>

37
00:01:41,389 --> 00:01:45,382
Ladies and gentlemen,
Keenen Ivory Wayans!

38
00:01:45,459 --> 00:01:49,452
<i>[Audience Cheering, Applauding]</i>

39
00:01:56,037 --> 00:01:58,733
- Thank you.
<i>- [Cheering, Applauding Continues]</i>

40
00:02:03,210 --> 00:02:05,644
All right.
[Chuckles]

41
00:02:08,282 --> 00:02:11,718
Thank you. Thank you.
And welcome to <i>In Living Color.</i>

42
00:02:11,786 --> 00:02:14,311
I'm Keenen Ivory Wayans. We got
a great show for you tonight.

43
00:02:14,388 --> 00:02:16,982
Before I get started, I'd like
to introduce a few folks to you.

44
00:02:17,058 --> 00:02:19,390
My D.J. That keeps the party
rockin' all night long...

45
00:02:19,460 --> 00:02:22,190
S.W. One, in the house...
give it up!

46
00:02:22,263 --> 00:02:24,527
<i>[Cheering, Applause]</i>

47
00:02:25,900 --> 00:02:28,767
And, of course, you got to say
hello to all my Fly Girls.

48
00:02:28,836 --> 00:02:31,999
<i>- Starting over here with Carrie Ann...</i>
<i>- [Cheering, Applause]</i>

49
00:02:32,073 --> 00:02:35,941
<i>Lisa, Deidre...</i>

50
00:02:36,010 --> 00:02:39,377
<i>- Michelle and Cari.</i>
<i>- [Cheering, Applause Continues]</i>

51
00:02:41,982 --> 00:02:43,916
All right.
We got a great show.

52
00:02:43,984 --> 00:02:46,145
We want you to sit back,
laugh, have a good time.

53
00:02:46,220 --> 00:02:49,121
And I'll see you in a minute.
Let's do it.

54
00:02:49,190 --> 00:02:53,126
<i>♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪</i>

55
00:02:53,194 --> 00:02:55,321
<i>♪ In living color♪♪</i>

56
00:02:57,565 --> 00:03:00,090
<i>♪♪ [Theme]</i>

57
00:03:03,571 --> 00:03:05,505
Hi. Welcome back
to <i>Love Connection.</i>

58
00:03:05,573 --> 00:03:07,803
Told you we'd be back
in two and two.

59
00:03:09,343 --> 00:03:11,868
Our next guest says she likes
her men to be very wealthy.

60
00:03:11,946 --> 00:03:13,971
Let's say hello
to Robin Givens.

61
00:03:19,253 --> 00:03:21,949
- Hi, Robin.
- Hello, Charles.

62
00:03:22,022 --> 00:03:25,423
Don't ever call me Charles.
I'll go off. [Chuckles]

63
00:03:26,827 --> 00:03:28,920
So, Robin, tell us
about this wealthy thing.

64
00:03:28,996 --> 00:03:31,863
Well, Chuck, I don't want people
thinking that I'm the type of woman...

65
00:03:31,932 --> 00:03:35,663
- who's only interested in
the size of a man's wallet.
- Mm-hmm.

66
00:03:35,736 --> 00:03:38,204
I mean, there are things
that are just as important.

67
00:03:38,272 --> 00:03:42,038
- Like what?
- Well, like what's
in the wallet. Am I right?

68
00:03:42,109 --> 00:03:44,043
<i>- [Cheering]</i>
- Thank you.

69
00:03:44,111 --> 00:03:46,477
Okay.
[Chuckles]

70
00:03:46,547 --> 00:03:49,516
Robin, last time you were here,
you picked a man to go out with.

71
00:03:49,583 --> 00:03:53,019
Now you're back to tell us how it went.
Let's say hello to Mike Tyson.

72
00:03:58,325 --> 00:04:00,316
Hello, Michael.

73
00:04:01,729 --> 00:04:04,289
- Hi, Michael.
- Hi, Robin.

74
00:04:06,233 --> 00:04:09,566
- How you doin', Chuck?
- Hi, there, Mike. How are you?

75
00:04:09,637 --> 00:04:12,003
Well, I got to say
I'm really ecstatic to be here.

76
00:04:17,745 --> 00:04:21,272
All righty, then.
Robin, tell us how the date started.

77
00:04:21,348 --> 00:04:24,545
Well, at first, I called Michael and,
of course, things didn't go very well...

78
00:04:24,618 --> 00:04:26,916
because he's just
a boxer from Brooklyn...

79
00:04:26,987 --> 00:04:30,479
and, of course, I was
a Harvard medical student.

80
00:04:33,961 --> 00:04:36,327
What about you, Mike?
What did you think of Robin?

81
00:04:36,397 --> 00:04:40,834
Well, Chuck,
when I first saw Robin, I was ecstatic.

82
00:04:40,901 --> 00:04:44,302
I mean, she had this...
she had this really tight dress on...

83
00:04:44,371 --> 00:04:46,362
you know, the kind
with the push-up bra...

84
00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:48,431
and her breasts were, like,
poppin' right out.

85
00:04:48,509 --> 00:04:51,444
Like hit me right
in the eye, you know?

86
00:04:51,512 --> 00:04:55,972
And as soon as I saw them, Chuck,
I said, "Wow. I'm in love," you know?

87
00:04:58,385 --> 00:05:00,819
Sounds like you two
really hit it off.

88
00:05:00,888 --> 00:05:04,153
- So where'd you go first?
- Well, first, Chuck...

89
00:05:04,225 --> 00:05:06,659
we went to this lovely
little jewelry store...

90
00:05:06,727 --> 00:05:08,957
where I allowed Michael
to purchase me...

91
00:05:09,029 --> 00:05:12,556
a very lovely ruby, diamond
and sapphire collection...

92
00:05:12,633 --> 00:05:15,067
and a matching car.

93
00:05:15,135 --> 00:05:19,799
- Sounds nice. Did you give Mike anything?
- Lithium.

94
00:05:19,874 --> 00:05:23,002
<i>It made... It made me feel</i>
<i>really ecstatic, Chuck.</i>

95
00:05:23,077 --> 00:05:25,875
- Uh-huh.
- Yes, we know, Michael. We know.

96
00:05:25,946 --> 00:05:28,938
So, where'd you go next?

97
00:05:29,016 --> 00:05:31,416
Well, then we went to the most
beautiful little wedding chapel...

98
00:05:31,485 --> 00:05:35,114
where my mother was waiting
with a justice of the peace,
and we got married!

99
00:05:35,189 --> 00:05:39,489
- Thank you very much.
<i>- [Cheering, Applause]</i>

100
00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:41,653
<i>[Chuck] Mike, what did</i>
<i>you think of Robin's mother?</i>

101
00:05:41,729 --> 00:05:45,062
Well, I got to be honest, Chuck.
I wasn't too ecstatic.

102
00:05:47,034 --> 00:05:49,161
You know, I looked at her mom,
the first thing I thought was...

103
00:05:49,236 --> 00:05:53,070
"Wow. This lady really
needs a hair weave."

104
00:05:53,140 --> 00:05:55,074
- And I'm, sorry, Robin.
<i>- [Robin] Michael...</i>

105
00:05:55,142 --> 00:05:57,372
I'm really sorry, darlin',
but your mom's head...

106
00:05:57,444 --> 00:05:59,503
her forehead is
just way too big...

107
00:05:59,580 --> 00:06:03,277
- and she just has too little
hair to cover it, you know?
- Messy.

108
00:06:03,350 --> 00:06:08,049
<i>But I tell you something though,</i>
<i>what really separates Robin</i>
<i>from her mom is class.</i>

109
00:06:08,122 --> 00:06:11,523
Because the franks were still bothering
me 'cause I had a boiled egg too.

110
00:06:11,592 --> 00:06:14,493
And I kinda cut one
in the car, you know?

111
00:06:14,561 --> 00:06:18,122
And her mom made
a big stink out of it. [Giggles]

112
00:06:20,234 --> 00:06:22,862
Robin, we're almost out of time.
Tell us about the rest of the date.

113
00:06:22,937 --> 00:06:25,497
Well, Charles...

114
00:06:25,572 --> 00:06:28,803
after the bank, the lithium
began to wear off...

115
00:06:28,876 --> 00:06:31,640
- and Michael went a little wild.
<i>- [Mike] Oh, come on, Robin.</i>

116
00:06:31,712 --> 00:06:33,907
- What happened, Mike?
<i>- Oh, well...</i>

117
00:06:33,981 --> 00:06:35,915
Well, Chuck,
it was really simple.

118
00:06:35,983 --> 00:06:38,713
It was quite innocent. I was in
the parking lot picking up the car...

119
00:06:38,786 --> 00:06:41,254
I'm waitin' on Robin
and her mom, and I see this girl.

120
00:06:41,322 --> 00:06:44,257
She has a really nice butt.
So I walk over, I go, "Hi, my name is Mike."

121
00:06:44,325 --> 00:06:46,759
And then I shove my tongue
down her throat, you know?

122
00:06:46,827 --> 00:06:49,193
And this guy comes over and
goes, "Hey, that's my mother."

123
00:06:49,263 --> 00:06:52,994
So I punch him in his gut,
you know, and he started making
little wormy noises.

124
00:06:53,067 --> 00:06:55,865
It was pretty funny. He was, like,
"Oh, God, I'm bleedin' internally."

125
00:06:55,936 --> 00:06:59,531
It was pretty funny, you know?
It reminded me of
the Bonecrusher Smith fight...

126
00:06:59,606 --> 00:07:03,303
where I hit him in his third rib
and then tried to push his nose
up into his brain, you know?

127
00:07:03,377 --> 00:07:05,311
- And I came over with...
<i>- [Chuck] Whoa.! Whoa.!</i>

128
00:07:05,379 --> 00:07:07,779
- I hit him and he went down.
- Whoa! Whoa! Ding! Ding!

129
00:07:09,116 --> 00:07:11,346
<i>[Chuck]</i>
<i>Ding.!</i>

130
00:07:11,418 --> 00:07:13,409
Wow, that was quite a date.

131
00:07:15,789 --> 00:07:17,882
Let's see who our audience
picked for you.

132
00:07:17,958 --> 00:07:19,949
<i>Was it Mike?</i>

133
00:07:21,462 --> 00:07:23,453
<i>John KennedyJr.?</i>

134
00:07:24,865 --> 00:07:26,856
<i>Or Donald Trump?</i>

135
00:07:30,437 --> 00:07:32,371
<i>They picked Mike by 41%.</i>

136
00:07:32,439 --> 00:07:34,634
So if you two would
like to go out again...

137
00:07:34,708 --> 00:07:37,370
[Chuckles]
Ultimately, Mike will pay for it.

138
00:07:40,214 --> 00:07:43,411
Well, there is a lovely little
fur salon I'd like to go to.

139
00:07:43,484 --> 00:07:45,714
Michael,
I wouldn't mind.

140
00:07:45,786 --> 00:07:47,811
- [Giggles]
- What about you, Michael?

141
00:07:50,090 --> 00:07:52,888
All right. I guess
it's all right, Robin.

142
00:07:54,995 --> 00:07:57,156
Well, be sure to come back
and tell us about it.

143
00:07:57,231 --> 00:08:01,361
Hey, Mike, maybe I'll see you
on <i>Scrabble</i> sometime. Yeah, right.

144
00:08:01,435 --> 00:08:06,600
Hey, "ecstatic."
E-X-K-l-T.

145
00:08:08,142 --> 00:08:12,476
<i>- All right?</i>
- Are you gonna tell him
he's wrong? [Chuckles]

146
00:08:12,546 --> 00:08:14,480
Well, that's it, folks.
I'm Chuck Woolery.

147
00:08:14,548 --> 00:08:17,984
Until next time, may all your dates
be a matter of public record.

148
00:08:27,694 --> 00:08:31,323
<i>♪♪ [Fanfare]</i>

149
00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:37,762
On July 20, 1969,
Apollo astronauts Neil Armstrong...

150
00:08:37,838 --> 00:08:42,832
<i>Buzz Aldrin, Michael Collins</i>
<i>and Slick Johnson orbited the moon.</i>

151
00:08:42,910 --> 00:08:44,844
Collins remained
in the command module...

152
00:08:44,912 --> 00:08:46,880
and Armstrong,
Aldrin and Johnson...

153
00:08:46,947 --> 00:08:49,973
landed the small lunar module
on the moon's surface.

154
00:08:50,050 --> 00:08:52,314
<i>While the men were</i>
<i>exploring the area...</i>

155
00:08:52,386 --> 00:08:54,911
<i>Armstrong received word</i>
<i>from mission control...</i>

156
00:08:54,988 --> 00:08:57,957
<i>that a system malfunction</i>
<i>had left them with only enough fuel...</i>

157
00:08:58,025 --> 00:09:02,257
<i>to take three of the four</i>
<i>pioneers safely back to Earth.</i>

158
00:09:02,329 --> 00:09:04,695
<i>After conferring</i>
<i>with Collins and Aldrin...</i>

159
00:09:04,765 --> 00:09:08,758
<i>Armstrong sentJohnson out</i>
<i>to find a nice spot to play volleyball.</i>

160
00:09:08,836 --> 00:09:14,001
<i>Minutes later, the landing module</i>
<i>took off, leaving Slick behind.</i>

161
00:09:14,074 --> 00:09:16,804
Hey, come on, y'all!
Stop playin', man!

162
00:09:16,877 --> 00:09:19,846
Hey, yo, that's not funny!
That's not funny, man! Come back here!

163
00:09:19,913 --> 00:09:22,074
The mission was an otherwise
perfect success.

164
00:09:22,149 --> 00:09:27,951
<i>And an embarrassed NASA deleted</i>
<i>all references toJohnson</i>
<i>from its official literature.</i>

165
00:09:28,021 --> 00:09:30,854
Tonight,
we salute SlickJohnson...

166
00:09:30,924 --> 00:09:33,154
the first black man
on the moon.

167
00:09:33,227 --> 00:09:36,594
I'm Tommy Davidson with
another great moment in black history.

168
00:09:46,439 --> 00:09:49,203
Yo, yo, yo, all you
bad bargain hunters out there!

169
00:09:49,275 --> 00:09:52,836
Welcome to
the <i>Homeboy Shopping Network.</i>

170
00:09:52,912 --> 00:09:55,107
Yo! We're the host
with the most.

171
00:09:55,181 --> 00:09:57,911
- I'm Whiz, this is the Iceman.
- Chillin'.

172
00:09:57,984 --> 00:10:00,384
[Both]
Let's show 'em what we got.

173
00:10:04,657 --> 00:10:07,956
- Look at all this stuff, man.
- It's like a warehouse sale.

174
00:10:08,027 --> 00:10:10,860
- Look at all this stuff.
- What have we got?
Let's show 'em the first item.

175
00:10:10,930 --> 00:10:13,194
- All right, we got this.
- For your automotive needs.

176
00:10:13,266 --> 00:10:18,135
We got car phones, we got
car stereos, we got car alarms.

177
00:10:18,204 --> 00:10:21,298
And if you act now,
we could probably get the car.

178
00:10:21,374 --> 00:10:23,774
Probably.

179
00:10:23,843 --> 00:10:25,777
- Yo, give 'em the number.
- All right.

180
00:10:25,845 --> 00:10:28,336
Uh, yeah.

181
00:10:28,414 --> 00:10:30,405
Operators are standin' by.

182
00:10:35,388 --> 00:10:37,856
Yo, our next item
up for sale...

183
00:10:37,924 --> 00:10:41,690
- jewelry, jewelry, jewelry!
- Look at all this stuff! Look at all this!

184
00:10:41,761 --> 00:10:43,695
Lovely assortment
of gold chains.

185
00:10:43,763 --> 00:10:46,664
Some of them have been
broken in transit, though.

186
00:10:46,732 --> 00:10:49,963
- Oh, a lovely diamond clustered ring.
- Oh, wow, look at this one.

187
00:10:50,036 --> 00:10:53,335
- Oh, man.
- You gonna keep it?

188
00:10:53,406 --> 00:10:56,000
Yeah.

189
00:10:56,075 --> 00:11:02,036
- I'm sorry, customers.
That was merely a display item.
<i>- [Phone Rings]</i>

190
00:11:02,114 --> 00:11:04,639
We got callers already.
Damn!

191
00:11:04,717 --> 00:11:08,244
Hello. Welcome to
the <i>Homeboy Shopping Network.</i>

192
00:11:08,321 --> 00:11:10,255
[Man]
That's my wife's ring!

193
00:11:10,323 --> 00:11:14,384
If I ever get my hands on you,
you sleazy, slimy, son of a...

194
00:11:14,460 --> 00:11:18,863
- [Laughing]
- [Both] Another satisfied customer.

195
00:11:18,931 --> 00:11:22,867
Yo, check these out.
This is something really special.

196
00:11:22,935 --> 00:11:26,632
Now... Now these are some...
These are the top-of-the-line
stuff, man, you know?

197
00:11:26,706 --> 00:11:30,267
These are some of the finer
TVs you might find at some
of the better hotels.

198
00:11:30,343 --> 00:11:34,575
Matter of fact, these are the <i>same</i>
TVs you find in the better hotels.

199
00:11:34,647 --> 00:11:37,081
- Yeah.
- Yo, check it out.

200
00:11:37,149 --> 00:11:40,744
They're a little wobbly, right? They're
a little bit wobbly. But check this out.

201
00:11:40,820 --> 00:11:44,256
If you act now, we'll throw in
these free Gideon Bibles...

202
00:11:44,323 --> 00:11:48,726
- you just throw 'em all
the way underneath like that.
- Check it out.

203
00:11:48,794 --> 00:11:50,728
Straight!

204
00:11:50,796 --> 00:11:54,857
Oh, yeah, now for you
cable buffs out there, man, we got
something special for you.

205
00:11:54,934 --> 00:11:57,095
Check this out.
Check this out.

206
00:11:58,404 --> 00:12:00,634
Now...

207
00:12:03,242 --> 00:12:06,769
Yo, not only
will you get, like...

208
00:12:06,846 --> 00:12:09,337
all the cable stations
out there...

209
00:12:09,415 --> 00:12:12,976
But you'll be able to talk
directly to the astronauts.

210
00:12:15,421 --> 00:12:18,322
Ain't that lovely?
Show 'em the other stuff.
Show 'em the other stuff.

211
00:12:18,391 --> 00:12:21,554
Now this...
this is somethin' special.

212
00:12:21,627 --> 00:12:23,925
You talk about
at-home bankin'.

213
00:12:27,466 --> 00:12:29,400
Yo, yo, yo.

214
00:12:29,468 --> 00:12:33,598
All you got to do is hook
this bad boy up in your house...

215
00:12:33,673 --> 00:12:35,698
- And what you got?
- You throw the card in there... Boom...

216
00:12:35,775 --> 00:12:38,642
or somebody else's card...
Boom... like that...

217
00:12:38,711 --> 00:12:41,805
[Both] Mo' money,
mo' money, mo' money.

218
00:12:42,782 --> 00:12:46,616
<i>[Siren Blaring,</i>
<i>Approaching]</i>

219
00:12:48,788 --> 00:12:52,656
- Uh-oh! Do I hear a bluelight special?
- I think so.

220
00:12:52,725 --> 00:12:56,024
- Well, you know what that means.
- That's right. We're movin' locations.

221
00:12:56,095 --> 00:12:59,462
So, join us next week on
the <i>Homeboy Shopping Network.</i>

222
00:12:59,532 --> 00:13:01,762
- Same time...
- Different corner.

223
00:13:01,834 --> 00:13:04,735
[Both]
Peace!

224
00:13:04,804 --> 00:13:07,637
<i>♪♪ [Dance]</i>

225
00:13:41,640 --> 00:13:44,632
<i>- ♪♪ [Ends]</i>
<i>- [Applause, Cheering]</i>

226
00:13:48,247 --> 00:13:53,742
Hi. This is Redd Foxx
with your 1990 tax tips.

227
00:13:53,819 --> 00:13:56,481
Tip number one... pay 'em.

228
00:13:58,324 --> 00:14:02,693
Tip number two... if the I.R.S. Man
show up to your house...

229
00:14:02,762 --> 00:14:08,359
lie... about everything,
especially who you is.

230
00:14:08,434 --> 00:14:11,096
Get back to work,
you crusty old heathen.

231
00:14:14,406 --> 00:14:17,671
Oh, Lord! I thought
I flushed my toilet.

232
00:14:19,445 --> 00:14:22,812
I'm the one who save you
from the I.R.S.

233
00:14:22,882 --> 00:14:24,873
You belong to me now.

234
00:14:24,950 --> 00:14:27,111
And when you finish
cleanin' up and dustin' in here...

235
00:14:27,186 --> 00:14:29,916
I want you to come in the room,
massage my feet...

236
00:14:29,989 --> 00:14:32,651
and pop the pimples
on my back!

237
00:14:36,162 --> 00:14:38,460
Oh, Lord! There's
got to be a better way.

238
00:14:38,531 --> 00:14:41,125
Somebody help me!
Eddie! Richard! Lamont!

239
00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:44,169
Somebody tell MichaelJackson
to come get Bubbles.

240
00:14:45,604 --> 00:14:48,164
Come here, you old geezer.

241
00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:51,505
You my love slave now.

242
00:14:56,248 --> 00:14:59,706
If your breasts drop any lower,
they're gonna be knees.

243
00:14:59,785 --> 00:15:03,585
You got the devil in you!

244
00:15:03,656 --> 00:15:06,420
Oh, Lord, somebody help me.
I'd give you five of these...

245
00:15:06,492 --> 00:15:08,687
but I don't want to get none
of that dog spit on my hands.

246
00:15:08,761 --> 00:15:10,956
You gonna make love to me
if it kills you, Fred.

247
00:15:11,030 --> 00:15:14,022
It will! Elizabeth,
I'm comin' to join you, honey...

248
00:15:14,099 --> 00:15:16,829
with a half a bottle of
Ripple and an old toothbrush.

249
00:15:16,902 --> 00:15:19,427
Save me!
Somebody, help me!

250
00:15:23,976 --> 00:15:27,434
I was buying a shirt at this
clothing store and I was out of cash.

251
00:15:27,513 --> 00:15:30,641
<i>So I gave the salesman</i>
<i>my Equity Express Gold Card.</i>

252
00:15:30,716 --> 00:15:32,684
I got a call
from the store manager.

253
00:15:32,751 --> 00:15:36,482
He said he was suspicious of a customer
trying to use an Equity Express card.

254
00:15:36,555 --> 00:15:38,489
<i>From the manager's</i>
<i>description of the man...</i>

255
00:15:38,557 --> 00:15:42,425
<i>it was clear he wasn't the right</i>
<i>sort to be carrying a Gold Card,</i>
<i>if you know what I mean.</i>

256
00:15:42,494 --> 00:15:44,621
<i>So I ran a check</i>
<i>on his credit.</i>

257
00:15:44,697 --> 00:15:48,497
[Scoffs] I knew my credit
was good, 'cause I just paid my bill.

258
00:15:48,567 --> 00:15:52,025
But the manager asked to see
my driver's license, I gave him that.

259
00:15:52,104 --> 00:15:54,038
<i>My birth certificate,</i>
<i>no problem.</i>

260
00:15:54,106 --> 00:15:56,040
<i>Mother's maiden name,</i>
<i>I had that too.</i>

261
00:15:56,108 --> 00:15:58,303
<i>You see, this had happened before.</i>

262
00:15:58,377 --> 00:16:00,641
He answered all of
our questions easily.

263
00:16:00,713 --> 00:16:03,181
There was no doubt
that it was his card.

264
00:16:03,249 --> 00:16:05,945
But I wasn't
giving up so fast.

265
00:16:06,018 --> 00:16:08,316
I asked to speak
to the customer directly.

266
00:16:08,387 --> 00:16:13,723
Then the lady asked me who won
the Bob Hope Invitational Golf
Tournament in 1978.

267
00:16:13,792 --> 00:16:17,023
<i>[Man's Voice]</i>
<i>I said, "Kiss my butt, bitch."</i>

268
00:16:17,096 --> 00:16:19,087
<i>Approve my credit.</i>

269
00:16:19,164 --> 00:16:21,098
I had him.

270
00:16:21,166 --> 00:16:25,159
Use of obscenity over interstate
phone lines is a federal offense.

271
00:16:25,237 --> 00:16:28,866
So I asked the store manager
to stall him while I called the police.

272
00:16:28,941 --> 00:16:32,104
So they told me
everything was cool...

273
00:16:32,177 --> 00:16:35,635
<i>and they started treating me</i>
<i>real nice, a little too nice.</i>

274
00:16:35,714 --> 00:16:41,653
<i>They gift wrapped my shirt,</i>
<i>they served me hors d'oeuvres</i>
<i>and started doing magic tricks.</i>

275
00:16:41,720 --> 00:16:43,984
<i>Then it got a little late,</i>
<i>so I got up to leave.</i>

276
00:16:44,056 --> 00:16:46,650
<i>[Woman]</i>
<i>Luckily, the cops got there in time.</i>

277
00:16:46,725 --> 00:16:48,955
Sure he sued us and won...

278
00:16:49,028 --> 00:16:52,862
but it was still fun to do
and the store manager was grateful.

279
00:16:52,932 --> 00:16:57,460
<i>[Woman] You see,</i>
<i>helping people is what we're all about.</i>

280
00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:04,607
<i>[Man] Equity Express,</i>
<i>don't leave your crib without it...</i>

281
00:17:04,677 --> 00:17:07,407
<i>or your driver's license</i>
<i>or your birth certificate...</i>

282
00:17:07,479 --> 00:17:09,743
<i>or your high school diploma,</i>
<i>or your blood type...</i>

283
00:17:09,815 --> 00:17:12,443
<i>or your passport, or your dental records,</i>
<i>or your fingerprints...</i>

284
00:17:12,518 --> 00:17:14,509
<i>or a notarized letter</i>
<i>from the president.</i>

285
00:17:14,586 --> 00:17:17,350
<i>♪♪ [Dance]</i>

286
00:17:55,294 --> 00:17:57,990
<i>♪♪ [Ends]</i>

287
00:17:59,431 --> 00:18:01,365
<i>♪ In Living Color♪♪</i>

288
00:18:03,135 --> 00:18:06,662
<i>[Announcer] And now,</i>
<i>Public Access presents</i> Men On Films.

289
00:18:09,208 --> 00:18:12,905
- Hello. I'm Blayne Edwards.
- And I'm Antoine Merriwether.

290
00:18:12,978 --> 00:18:16,141
[Both]
And welcome to <i>Men On Films.</i>

291
00:18:16,215 --> 00:18:18,342
We're gonna be reviewing
the latest films.

292
00:18:18,417 --> 00:18:20,578
From a male
point of view.

293
00:18:20,652 --> 00:18:24,952
First up, is that controversial movie...
<i>Do The Right Thing.</i>

294
00:18:25,024 --> 00:18:28,482
Now I like little Spike Lee's
courage in making this film.

295
00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:32,155
I especially liked the way he mixed
the racial tension with the violence...

296
00:18:32,231 --> 00:18:34,893
in order to give his message:
Do the right thing.

297
00:18:34,967 --> 00:18:38,198
Come on out of the closet.
Don't be afraid to be who you is...

298
00:18:38,270 --> 00:18:40,204
- Black, white or whatever.
<i>- Mm-hmm.</i>

299
00:18:40,272 --> 00:18:43,400
Ain't that the truth,
Ruth. [Giggles]

300
00:18:43,475 --> 00:18:48,003
Now I'd like to talk about an exciting
new film<i>... Karate Kid, Part Three.</i>

301
00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:51,345
It's all about men working out
their problems in a very physical way.

302
00:18:51,417 --> 00:18:53,681
- It was all so primitive.
<i>- Mm-hmm.</i>

303
00:18:53,752 --> 00:18:57,244
And I really enjoyed Mr. Miyagi,
played by little Pat Morita.

304
00:18:57,322 --> 00:19:01,486
Ooh, and that Ralph Macchio,
three words... Fab-U-Lous.

305
00:19:06,565 --> 00:19:09,591
- Boy, I hope I look that good when I'm 40.
- Stop.

306
00:19:10,803 --> 00:19:12,737
But I have to disagree.
I disagree.

307
00:19:12,805 --> 00:19:14,966
There's just too much
violence in this movie.

308
00:19:16,008 --> 00:19:17,999
Don't get mad.

309
00:19:21,747 --> 00:19:24,841
Stop.
[Indistinct]

310
00:19:27,486 --> 00:19:29,613
You better give me back
my scarf.

311
00:19:30,656 --> 00:19:32,749
Don't hate me
'cause I'm beautiful.

312
00:19:36,261 --> 00:19:38,354
They went all wrong.
What's all this kickin' about?

313
00:19:38,430 --> 00:19:40,421
This is a movie
about relationships.

314
00:19:40,499 --> 00:19:43,662
This could have been a beautiful
picture about the special friendship...

315
00:19:43,735 --> 00:19:46,898
between a mature,
masculine, older man...

316
00:19:46,972 --> 00:19:50,464
and a tender, ripening,
consenting young man.

317
00:19:51,844 --> 00:19:54,278
See, I think America's
ready for that.

318
00:19:54,346 --> 00:19:56,371
You know I know I am.

319
00:19:57,616 --> 00:19:59,846
I bet you is.

320
00:19:59,918 --> 00:20:03,479
Now I'd like to talk about a film
I've been anxiously awaitin' to see...

321
00:20:03,555 --> 00:20:05,819
<i>Great Balls Of Fire.</i>

322
00:20:09,027 --> 00:20:11,393
I ain't gonna touch it.

323
00:20:11,463 --> 00:20:14,364
But the title alone
gets two snaps up.

324
00:20:15,801 --> 00:20:17,792
Tell it.

325
00:20:21,740 --> 00:20:24,641
- Why don't you stop.
- Yes.

326
00:20:24,710 --> 00:20:27,941
Now let's talk about some films
that are soon to come out on video.

327
00:20:28,013 --> 00:20:33,610
First up is <i>Black Widow,</i> starring
Theresa Russell and Debra Winger.

328
00:20:33,685 --> 00:20:36,245
[Both]
Hated it.

329
00:20:36,321 --> 00:20:38,653
Also coming out
is <i>Miss Firecracker.</i>

330
00:20:38,724 --> 00:20:40,988
Is that Gene Anthony Ray's
new movie?

331
00:20:44,496 --> 00:20:46,430
Holly Hunter.

332
00:20:46,498 --> 00:20:48,432
[Both]
Hated it.

333
00:20:48,500 --> 00:20:51,901
And we finally have
<i>Dangerous Liaisons...</i>

334
00:20:51,970 --> 00:20:54,666
starring John Malkovich
and Glenn Close.

335
00:20:54,740 --> 00:20:58,574
You know, John Malkovich
is like every moviegoer's fantasy.

336
00:20:58,644 --> 00:21:02,705
I found myself just alone at night
just thinkin' about his...

337
00:21:02,781 --> 00:21:05,272
- intensity.
- Yes.

338
00:21:05,350 --> 00:21:09,684
- What'd you think of Glenn Close?
- Oh, I loved him.

339
00:21:09,755 --> 00:21:14,590
And I really have to admire the producers
for daring to cast a man in that role.

340
00:21:14,660 --> 00:21:18,096
I mean, that really made
the picture for me.

341
00:21:18,163 --> 00:21:20,358
Hello! Glenn Close is a woman.

342
00:21:20,432 --> 00:21:23,697
[Gasps] Clutch the pearls!
What a sneaky thing to do!

343
00:21:27,005 --> 00:21:29,269
Why you always sayin'
stuff like that?

344
00:21:30,676 --> 00:21:32,769
Well, looks like
we almost out of time.

345
00:21:32,844 --> 00:21:37,008
Would you join us next week when we talk
about Mel Gibson's <i>Lethal Weapon?</i>

346
00:21:37,082 --> 00:21:41,143
- I hope it's loaded.
- You crazy. [Giggles]

347
00:21:51,230 --> 00:21:53,289
<i>- [Cheering, Applause]</i>
- Thank you.

348
00:21:56,668 --> 00:22:01,128
All right.
On behalf of the cast and myself...

349
00:22:01,206 --> 00:22:03,401
I want to thank you all
for joining us tonight.

350
00:22:03,475 --> 00:22:05,909
We'll see you next week.
Bye-bye.

351
00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:52,212
<i>♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪</i>

352
00:22:52,291 --> 00:22:54,225
<i>♪ In living color♪♪</i>


